Aw, Christian music. That wonderful bubble that we hate to admit exists but are more than fine with allowing to envelope our twenty-four seven like a comfortable pillow filled with baby angelic feathers. Is there really such a thing as "too much" when talking about music that encourages, uplifts and strengthens our faith while digging us out of the armpits of life? We think not.
So, for those of us that eat, breathe, sleep and soak our eardrums in a constant bath of Jesus Jams that would make our grandma's nod with approval, this is for you.
1. When you spend 99% of your time at Chick-fil-A singing the words to the instrumentals.
2. When your closet consists of only band shirts.
3. When you can name the song/artist/album within three seconds of the intro.
4. When the lyrics for all your favorite love songs are about your significant other...and Jesus.
5. When your radio's pre-programmed to every Christian station within 300 miles of home.
6. When you hear a Christian song on mainstream radio and break out in an instant panic while forcing everyone to stop and listen...cause JESUS ON THE RADIO PEOPLE!!!
7. When a primetime TV show uses a Christian song in their trailer/commercial, so you throw all moral decisions out the window and watch the entire episode.
8. When you don't want to be rude but in the name of Jesus, you WILL push Brenda out of the way for those general admission front row seats.
9. When you speculate about which artists will be on the next Winter Jam and then brag to your friends when you're right.
10. When you bedazzle everything in sight with $3 Christian band stickers.
11. When you have a Christian song for every life situation, and sing it as life happens.
12. When you've actually seen God's Not Dead, its sequel and have already planned out opening night for Part 3.
14. When Christian music placement suddenly gets you interested in sports.
15. When you pay thousands to see a 90s band regroup for one show in the middle of the Caribbean.
16. When you read through a rip-off BuzzFeed article called "Signs You Listen To Too Much Christian Music" and relate to every single line...