What have I been up to in the last twenty-three years? Well, most importantly, I raised three daughters.  I took some years off--sort of a forced retirement--a while back to help my wife. I don’t think that people quite understood what I was doing because I was in the prime of my career, but I said, “My family is more important to me than a music career,” and they were my primary focus for several years.

 

So, I did that for a while, and they’re all grown now and mostly out of the house. My middle daughter comes back home once in a while. The other two are gone. I have two grandsons by my oldest daughter, Megan. She married a man who is in the Air Force. They live in Dover, Delaware, so I hardly get to see them. She’s also pregnant with her third son, so I’ll have three grandbabies coming up here pretty quickly. 

 

I went through a stint with cancer in 1994, which really put a wrench in the gears for me for a number of years, but I went out with Promise Keepers and did some worship events for a year. I did twelve events, and that was a blast. And I just kept touring. Well, I didn’t really tour, but I went out and did weekend events a lot from that point until now. It’s slowed down the last few years because the music industry has tanked, in general. It’s really bad right now, but I’m still doing concerts.

 

I’ve got some events in April, and I’m going to Europe this summer for about five or six weeks. I’ll be doing concerts in Sweden, Germany, and Holland. I’m looking forward to that, and other things are happening too. 

 

I’m going to be meeting with a record label out in LA. We’re going to talk shop and see if there’s something there. It looks kind of promising right now, so I’m really encouraged and excited about that. I’ve been writing some new tunes on my laptop--just singing into my Garage Band program and doing stuff a cappella or playing guitar..whatever. So, that’s been kind of fun. 

 

 

I did, yes. Some years back I did some producing. I think I produced five or six CDs one year. That was probably the most I did in a year, but I’ve produced different artists through the years. I still do that, although I haven’t produced anything in the last couple of years. 

 

I did a lot of commercial work when I was going through cancer because I couldn’t really be around a lot of crowds of people. I couldn’t really travel, so I did jingles just to eat, and it was easy work for me and a lot of fun. I got to meet some great people that I have stayed in contact with since then that are good, dear friends. So, the cancer stint wasn’t all doom and gloom. Some good things came out of it. 

 

I also wrote an autobiography a couple of years ago that came out on WaterBrook Press, and that was fun. That was challenging just putting that together. You forget about all the things that you did. I’m thinking now and it’s like, Oh yeah. I did that and I did that, but I kind of forget.

 

 

Well, it changed my life because, of course, like most people that go through something like that, you come face-to-face with your own finality, if you will, or your lack of infinity as a human being. It makes you look at things differently--your kids and how you interact with people. It didn’t make me say, “Oh, I’m going to live my life like today is my last day.” I could do that for a week, but I knew that wasn’t real. 

 

Musically, though, I did a CD back when I was going through it. I started writing some songs that ended up going on a project called My Redeemer. It is, to this day, my favorite, and also my wife’s favorite, CD that I’ve ever recorded. It’s powerful. It’s one of those kind of anointed sort of things--not to get super spiritual because a lot of my records were good. They had great songs, and I wrote from experience a lot of times and they were fine. But this was such a powerful sort of mandated thing to do. I felt like I was supposed to do this record more than I’ve ever felt that way about any other project, to the point that the label that I was on at the time didn’t even want me to do that type of record. You see, I was known more for doing aggressive rock--more rock ballads, power ballads and rock, and a little bit of R&B--and they wanted me to do another record like that. They said, “...and then you can do this thing that you’re wanting to do,” and I said, “You know, I’ve got to do this record.” At that point, they let me go.

 

My wife and I felt so strongly about doing the record, that we mortgaged our house, and we paid for the whole project ourselves--everything. We did all of the marketing and hired a radio tracker. We did it all ourselves. We even sold it out of our house for the first year and a half. It was pretty hilarious, but I’m glad that we did it. It’s, what they call in the industry, an evergreen project because, when an album like this comes out, it sells a certain number, but it  never really drops off for years. To this day, it’s still a good seller for me. 

 

The My Redeemer CD, probably more than any other that I’ve done, has meant more to people that go through difficult situations. I’ll talk to people after concerts, when I perform these songs, and they’ll come up with tears in their eyes and, a lot of times, they’ll say, “I had no idea when I listened to that song, and I was going through cancer myself, that you wrote those songs because of that. I just knew that when I listened to it, I felt something, and it helped me through my struggle.” When I explain the story about the songs and everything I went through, it devastates people. They’ll say things like, “Holy cow! God was doing that?” So it’s obvious that God had a specific plan for that project because, even though it’s unexplained, it still comes across that way. It’s just ridiculous. So I've been having fun with music. It’s been a journey.

 

 

When I was first diagnosed, I talked to a lot of family members, and they would say, “Do you ever wonder, why me?” and I would try to be really honest with them. My thought was, Why not me? Why should I be exempt from suffering? It’s not even biblical to think the we should be exempt. Jesus said [paraphrased], “They hated me. They’re going to hate you. In this life there will be trouble.” That’s what Jesus said. We claim a lot of promises of God, but I haven’t heard too many people claim that one: “In this life there will be trouble. Hallelujah! I can’t wait!” I don’t hear anybody standing on the promises of that one.

 

I kind of had a different approach to the whole thing. You see, I watched both of my parents die a terrible death. I think that kind of jaded me a little bit as far as, this is what happens to people. When I was first diagnosed I thought, Well, there’s a pretty good chance I’m not going to live through this, and I was fine with that. I thought, Well, if that’s what God has, then whatever. It wasn’t a defeatist attitude, but it wasn’t like I could add a day to my life. I couldn’t change the direction of the wind. So, I just put it in His hands and said, “Hey, I’m fine. If You want to heal me, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s cool too. I’m on this journey with You.”

 

God is not my copilot. He’s my pilot. If He’s your copilot, you’re in the wrong seat. That’s the approach I took with it. I wanted to live, of course, for my kids and my wife, and I would pray that way, of course. I wasn’t being some sort of a defeatist. I was just being a realist. C.S. Lewis once stated that was one of the questions that he found almost impossible to answer to people who weren’t Christians was, “Why are some people healed and some people aren’t?” He would say, “I don’t know. I can’t help you. I’m a smart guy, but I just don’t know.”

 

So I approached it from that standpoint, but I also believed that God had a lot left for me to do. And I did have faith that God was going to heal me, which He ultimately did. So, it was an interesting boat to ride in, and I think that, through it, I learned how to trust God. That’s what I learned more than anything else from Him during that time. Trust. It was like God was asking me, “Will you love Me if I heal you and will you love Me if I don’t heal you?” Well, of course, I knew I’d love Him either way. That’s where I had to get. I think that part of the journey for me was my worship of Him, despite my mortality. My adoration of Him was not based on what I could get from Him. It was unconditional because of what He already did for me, which was more than enough.

 

So, whether He slay me or raise me, I’m going to worship Him the same way. It doesn’t matter. You can say that, but actually walking through it is a whole other deal.

 

That’s pretty heavy. I don't know if I would be able to be so strong, but I guess when you’re in it, you deal with it and go with what you know God told you. Obviously, He had more planned for you though, so we’re glad you’re still with us.

 

Yes, I got better. (said with a fake British accent)

 

 

Don’t do it! No, I’m just kidding. Seriously, though, you hear people say this all the time, but the older I get the more I realize it’s true: We guys have a tendency to hear the last four minutes of what a women is saying in a conversation. If the woman asks,  “Are you listening?”, we can say, “Yeah, you said this and this.” Guys have a way of tuning out the chick frequency, and I think that’s something that I’m still working on as well--to honestly and actually listen when my wife speaks to me and hear exactly what she’s saying. 

 

The trick with women is that they say one thing; it’s not that they mean another, but there are little things in between the words that they’re saying. You have to listen between the lines, as opposed to reading between the lines. A lot of times, my wife will say something, like, “Honey, you need to do this,” but what she’s really saying is, “You need to do this and this and this.” A lot of times, I’ll only do the one thing because I’m not actually hearing what she’s saying.

 

So, for me, I think that the secret is really learning how to communicate, I guess. Listening is a big part of communication, but I think that we overlook the listening part because we’re all determined to get our two cents in because we are the center of the universe. Everything revolves around us, of course. You can deny that all you want, but when you wake up in the morning, your first thought is probably something about yourself. So communication, honesty, and being out there in front with your spouse is of vital importance.

 

 

 

If I wasn’t making music...that’s a toughie because I have to make the assumption that, if I wasn’t making music, I would still have somehow become a Christian. Because, if I go back, assuming that I had not become a Christian at that time in my life, I am pretty sure that I would be dead right now--actually, I would have been dead a long time ago because I’m the kind of person who likes everything that I get my hands into. I don’t necessarily think of myself as having an addictive personality, but my wife might disagree. She used to call me “Death Wish Ward” because, if I got on a motorcycle, I would crash it, even though I know how to ride bikes. I’ve been riding bikes since I was eight, but I like to hit that jump. If I’m riding a bike, I’m going to crash into something because I’m sort of a thrill-seeker. A lot of my family on my cousin’s side got heavily into drugs like meth and other things, and I think, having the type of personality that I do, I probably would have gone right down that same street. I probably would have done myself in because I like everything 110%. I don’t do anything halfway.

 

I think that God protected me and got me into a situation that was so utterly opposite of what I had been growing up in. It was such a shock, but it had to be because I needed to get hit over the head with a hammer, spiritually. If I had not become a Christian, then I think I’d be dead. Becoming a Christian like I did, I find it nearly impossible to think that I wouldn’t have gotten into music somehow because it just comes out of me. I love to sing. Someone would have heard me singing and said, “Holy crud,” and I’m sure that I would have been singing in one group or another. Who knows what that would have looked like, but I’m sure that I would have been involved in music--maybe Christian music, but maybe not. It’s hard to say becauseI know a lot of people that are strong believers who are in music but don’t do Christian music, and I don’t have a problem with that. 

 

When I was younger I used to say, “How can you have a gift that God gave you and not use it to glorify Him?” Then I realized that I was not the one to decide if they were using the gift that God gave them the way that He intended. I can’t judge that. Holy cow. Anyway, there are a lot of ways to reach people with our gifts without having to tell them, “Jesus is Lord,” every five seconds. We’re examples, and Jesus hung out with the whores and the tax collectors. He hung out with the riffraff. He didn’t go to church on Sunday morning and only hang out with all the Christians. He got dirty with people, in a sense, and was Himself and people loved Him. If He wasn’t a cool guy, do you think He would have been invited to the wedding feasts and to all these things? He was the life of the party, but I think that people overlook that. They see Him as this meek, mild, milquetoast, spineless kind of guy, but I don’t think that’s how He was at all. 

 

Anyway, I have no idea how that relates to the question, but I’m having fun talking.

 

 

I love photography. It’s been a passion of mine since I was seventeen. The real hard thing for me is that I don’t own a great camera right now, so I take these pictures with my iPhone. People go, “Man, that’s amazing! What kind of camera do you have?”, and I’ll say, “An iPhone.” That’s kind of funny, but I definitely do have an eye for photography. When I went to Turkey in 2008 with a friend of mine , I borrowed my next-door neighbor’s camera and took some amazing photographs. People see them and say, “Wow!”

 

I posted some of the photos from Turkey on my Facebook page, but they’re not even the best ones. I’ve got those images on another computer, and I haven’t been able to transfer them yet, but if people want to check them out, they can go to my Facebook. I’ve got some pictures of Turkey on there and some other ones--Alaska and such--as well. I also love to fish, but I probably haven’t gone fishing in almost two years. I’ve been learning how to fly fish and that’s a real kick in the pants. My other passion is the Jeep Wrangler in my garage. It’s my toy. It’s got the huge tires and the lift kit and the wench on the front. I take it up into the mountains on these trails and crash into things. It’s lots of fun! 

 

So, I have more passions than time to pursue them. It seems that, when you have the money to do fun things, you don’t have the time, but when you have the time, you don’t have the money. That just seems to be the way it goes. 

 

 

It's now available for download from iTunes, but the easiest way for people to find it would be to go to my website, which is www.MatthewWard.com. There’s a link there that takes you to all of my solo material. 

 

 

Keep the faith. I’ve been telling my friends that lately, and they think I’m being funny, but I’m so serious. I look at them as they’re leaving and I go, “Remain Christian,” and they just laugh it off. Then I’ll say, “No, really.” You see, it’s a choice. We need to remain strong in the faith and look for things in people that are the light of God and not their own misdirections because it’s so easy to find fault in people. I can find a fault in a person in a heartbeat, but it’s much harder to find the gem of who they are in their character. So, look for that in people.

 

 

I do too.

 

 

Same here. I’ll see you on Facebook.