"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? "Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?" For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen."
ROMANS 11:33-36

I spent a decade running away from "Christian" music. I had decided that my calling was to be a "light in the darkness." I wanted God to use me as a Christ-follower who was making music in the "secular" marketplace because I thought this was the highest path of an artistic person who wanted to follow Jesus-- but also didn't want to make bad music. So I wrote and performed songs that hinted about Jesus and never ran against the message of the gospel, but I refused to come out and shout the truth from the rooftops.

I spent a decade trying to be what I hoped God wanted me to be. I realize now I didn't take much time to lay my personal ambition down to evaluate how God might want to use me apart from my own dreams and agenda (side note: refusing to write "Christian" music is also a very convenient excuse for those like myself who are terrified of evangelism). After a decade of pursuing a self-proclaimed calling, I hadn't gotten very far. 

After my last "secular" album hadn't done much and hadn't reached many people, I'm surprised that I didn't stop performing and recording altogether. I was continually hitting roadblocks and couldn't understand why. The costs in money, energy and time didn't seem to be justifying the pursuit of a musical career. But I just couldn't let go. I had to record just one more album. 

Dorothy L. Sayers says, "The conscious intellect may argue that the writer should pursue some fruitful or established undertaking; but they will argue in vain against the passionate vitality of a work that insists on manifestation." I knew I needed to make another project, and so I began to have conversations with my father about where to go next as an artist. My dad asked me some very important questions that I hadn't been considering: 

• What were the unique gifts that God had given me? 
• What was my personal history and story?
• Where had God placed me in this life? 
• What kinds of people were consistently touched by my music? 

I realized that God had placed me to be raised by a pastor and family who had always faithfully followed Christ. I realized the people who always responded to my music were Christians (even when I was beating around the bush). I realized that God had provided an education for me that left me with a desire for intellectual pursuits in biblical and theological knowledge. So why was I fighting so hard against the history, giftedness and calling that God had built my life around? 

I spent a decade running from Christian music because I thought I had to be a "Christian musician." Now I'm writing and performing Christian music, not because I think I have to, but because I want to.  But the fluffy stuff isn't enough for me. If I'm going to write an album about the Christian experience, I want it to be honest. This is the motivation behind my new album Depth. 

I didn't want to write songs that were "a mile wide and an inch deep." I wanted to write about scripture, biblical people and the Christian experience with theological depth. I wanted to ask hard questions and give people a work of art that they enjoyed because it not only encouraged them but challenged them as well. If we as Christians have a desire to embrace art that speaks truth, then it's going to get messy and complicated, because life with Christ is messy and complicated. 

I spent a decade running from Christian music, and now I'm standing still in the calling that God has uniquely equipped me for. I hope you'll stand firm with me and acknowledge that being a follower of Christ and a lover of good art do not have to be mutually exclusive.