tep out the front door, friends! Toss up my keys! From here on out we’re gonna do as we please! Just outside this substantially thickening window is a world Full of opportunities for me and you… and you and me. (But I fell into that same flawed fantasy that detaching myself from mommy’s bedtime stories and daddy singing me to sleep would be the key to setting me free.) Oh, you want out so bad now, baby girl, But just you wait and see how much you miss mom and dad once you finally get the chance to leave! I want to go home to my own bed tonight and sleep cuddle with my puppy (I miss my puppy!) I want to make believe that she is a girl sleeping next to me…like I used to when I was lonely… like I was lucky enough to have somebody there to keep me company when I woke up in the morning and hold me (but now I’m…)
Buried in the arms of someone else and missing mother’s. I miss the weathered hands of my dad while holding tightly to my lovers. And I call this: Free.
EIGHTEEN BABY! YOU WANT TO SEE MY I.D.? I’LL BUY MY OWN CIGARETTES! In fact, two packs please. Two packs for the two years I already ran myself broke, (O!) and two more for the two more I’m gonna count on these to cope. I’ll take two packs for the two days that I’m planning on being away, Smoke ‘em both the first so on the second I can give my lungs a break (or, at least that’s the plan anyway… oh my god! You’ve got a two-for-one on the 27’s?) You know, I think I’ll take two more just in case on that second day, when I wake, I decide to smoke all eight… OH! a captain and coke would go so nicely right now cause I’ve been drinkin a little to try to forget about the fact that I’ve been drinkin a little to try to forget about the fact that I’ve been drinkin a little to try to forget about the fact that I drank quite a bit, and actually forgot about the fact that I am down.
Funny how perspectives change so quickly when you’re the one with your head beneath the toilet seat, wearing that crown on your feet… and as I lift up my head from that bathroom sink I sink into the mirror and scream: “YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!” and Paul said it perfectly, “I am the worst of these” but every now and then I swear I think I got that guy beat. I used to be such a fan of abstract poetry! But that quiet, clouded, kind of confusing painting went from diluted grayscale to vibrant honesty pretty quickly, and in fact, I’m a little sickly, and in fact I’m a little scared sometimes that this is all in vain, with a million of me running all over eternity it’s no wonder my hope has such a bad name! But I know, no matter how large a hypocrite, or how small my faith, WHEN YOU STARTED TO TALK ABOUT PERFECTION THE WAY YOU TALKED ABOUT MY PAIN You became the seed inside that gave root to change!
And I pray every day that there is power in prayer, and I hope with all my heart that my heart will find you there, and if you’re really bigger than my skepticism then how dare I compare the high I prescribe with the beauty you prepare?
