Hey, what's up? I'm B. Reith, I'm here to perform.
(B who?) B. Reith. (You're not on the roster.)
What-what you mean I'm not on the roster?
Y'all called me to do a show here.
(You're not on the roster.) Well, look a little closer. I must be on this. (You're not on the roster, OK? So get out of line.) Hey--
what's that over there? (Where? Huh? Security!)
Here we go, yup yup I know.
You ain't never seen it done like this before.
Long hair, blue eyes, yes yes I flow.
Yes I sing, plus I bring the ill beats that be
Sizzlin' man like bacon grease.
Back when I had short hair they called me Jason Priestley.
But time passed, I had to mature.
You see I'm tryin' to be the next Ashton Kutcher.
Mock my style, I dare you yo.
Watch me pop right out of your stereo.
I spit more rounds then a merry go.
I flip more sounds then a karaoke machine.
B-Team, this has been my dream
Since back when Al Green was lean, my scheme
My plot, rise the top as one of the best
I'm tryin' to be the white Kanye West, you heard me?
That was a joke, in case you didn't get it.
I'm one in a million custom fitted.
If you ain't with it than hit the exit.
Don't disrespect this, I'll leave you breathless.
Go on, hey D.J. play that funky song
That I like, I can't recall the name, I think it goes like
"La-da-da, la-da-da-da-da" by some guy named B.Reith,
yea I think that was his name, play that funky song
It's messed up when they can't say your name right.
B.Reeth? B.Right? No, B.Reith!
See the T-H at the end like
Thank you for saying it wrong again.
What do I gotta do to get some respect 'round here
Start frontin' like I'm crazy and throwin' round chairs
Would you quit tellin' people that I'm from Brown Deer
Really man, what you tryin' to do, kill my career?
It's bad enough they didn't put my name on the roster
Now they're trying to claim that I'm a J.C. Chavez imposter
What? Where's my manager? Wait that's me
At times like these I wish I had a fake i.d.
So I tell the bouncer, "Hey, where's the bathroom?
It's an emergency dude I'll be back soon."
Sneak to the stage, hand my CD to the D.J.
Tell him when I cue him hit play, ready?
Hey D.J. please won't you give me a chance
So I can drop this beat and make these people dance.
Now um, one thing is clear they gon' like what they hear
So um, lend me your ear and just watch me get my groove on
You know you're broke when you sing for free
Thinkin' that you'll make some money if you bring CD's
Show up, the sound system is soundin' like garbage
My man where'd you buy this microphone from, Target?
It's funny how the same people that mean to mug you
Will come up to you after the show and try to hug you
No matter how tight you are on the mic
There's always one hater that's like, "Dude he's alright, I'm better though."
It's sort of sad but I had to laugh
When I thought this girl wanted my autograph
I said, "Hey how you doin' what's your name?" "It's Margie,
Sorry to bother you but can I borrow that Sharpie?"
"What? Don't you know who I am girl?"
"No. Wait, are you that dude from 'That 70's Show?'"
Shoot, I played it off said, "Yup that's me."
"Oh my gosh, here, sign this B.Reeth CD!"
You're kidding me