Okay friends, let's take a break and go to our Fruit O' Ministry tote board and check our total. The way the tote board works is this: we count up the number of souls that have been saved by this ministry and then subtract the number of souls that have been permanently hardened toward the gospel by this ministry, which produces the grand Fruit O' Ministry total. Timpani. Souls saved: eleven. Hearts irrevocably hardened: a hundred and fifty-three million. People, we got negative fruit here! Come on, I'm sure some of you people out there have a testimony. (Amen) I know that most of you need to rededicate your lives, now call, friends, call. Let's get this negative fruit total in the black. Come on, we need your help. Pick up that phone right now, lie if you have to, but call. Now, as you go to the phones, we want you parents out there to get off your duff, go get your troubled, pimply-faced, long-haired, rebellious and belligerent teenager 'cause we have a surprise for them. Right here in our studios, live on our up-with-teen stage, we got a new heavenly metal band called The Sprinklerhead. Now I'm not much, I must say...I must be frank at this point, I'm not much for these obscenely tight rock pants, these girly hair extensions and effeminate makeup. But if that's what it takes to sell these religions knickknacks to a new generation, we're willing to stoop—I mean go to any length to extend the hand of fellowship, painted fingernails and all. (Amen) And now folks, let's bring them on with a big Prickly Heat World Ministry amen. Here they are: The Sprinklerheads!
