Staring at this empty canvas
Waiting for the next stroke of my life
It seems to go by so fast

I stare at the empty canvas, and when I make the next stroke the canvas is completely covered, with no room for anything else.

What is it all about? Why work ourselves to the bone, to the point of sheer exhaustion that we are living for a vacation to come up, but when the holiday comes, there is so much to get done that there is no downtime and when the vacation is over, we go back to work just as exhausted, needing a vacation from our vacation?

This was December for me, work was more than hectic, and I was looking forward to a short respite during Christmas. A short respite it was because when I returned to work it was full throttle all over again. And here I sit, near the end of January, longing for another vacation and based on how things are shaping up through the first four months of the year, I will settle for long weekends where there is just enough time to wind down before being wound up again.

That’s when I discovered the concept of “margin.” The edge or border of life that I have to leave untouched. It is only when I create margin that I can get the time required to be with God. The chance I get to “slow down time” as Jeremy Camp sings:

I wish I could slow down time
I wish I could wait here at Your feet
'Cause with You is the only place that I wanna be
I know I should take it all in stride
I know You are there with every reach
'Cause with You is the only place that I wanna be

It is in this margin, in this space, that my mind can slow down enough to re-center on God and on his plan for my life. Yes, I’ve created margin where there once was no time. Yes, it seems counterintuitive, when I am completely wiped out from all that happens in life, to get up a couple hours earlier in the morning than I really need to, but when I allowed life to bleed into the margin I felt worse. My mind wandered, I could not focus at work, because I was not focused on God to begin the day.

On my own I always fade out fast
That on the run my every step will last
I'm resting in Your words that never fail
You're searching every part of me
I need to stop so I can hear You speak

One of the hardest things for me in my Christian walk has been devoting time to God. Time for prayer and time to study the Word of God. I would check off the box in my bible reading guide, but fall asleep immediately after, not remembering anything. But by slowing down time I get a chance to put first things first, and the first thing in my life has to be my walk with Christ. That fullness of joy that is achieved by setting my mind on things above and not below, by focussing on God’s goodness and not quickly waking up, showering and heading right into rush hour traffic, with barely time to stop for coffee.

Oh, the greatness of Your presence
Leaves me leaning here so speechless
I've given up on making this life my home
Oh, in the fullness of Your glory
Is beyond my comprehension
There's no greater joy than being with You, my King

Can I literally slow down time? Of course not, wreaking havoc with the space-time continuum is not within my current skillset. But by simply creating extra time in a day that is already full of so much, to focus on the one who created time, has left me with greater joy and greater peace.