Trailer for sale or rent,
Rooms to let - fifty cents,
No phone, no pool, no pets,
I ain't got no cigarettes,
Ah, but two hours of pushing brooms buys a eight by twelve four bedroom,
I'm a man of means by no means - king of the road.
[Alright, no request not considered. I like that number, we should have learned that. What? (You still got the moonshine?) Moonshine? Now why are talking about that?
(It kind've just looked like a moonshine jug or something like that) It's...it's one of those drinking water jugs that comes from a municipal source. (Did you get that when we were it Atlanta?) What the moonshine...no, the water? (Moonshine) Dave, I've never had moonshine in my life. (How come you picked it up it Atlanta?) Not only does he not do what he's supposed to do, he slanders me. I've had a bad...enough trouble on this tour, Dave. So far I've been accused of leering at soundmen's wives, um, encouraging young ladies to throw their hotel room keys at me... (I heard that one) ...reading people's doctor's appointments on stage, when it was supposed to be their...their song request happened to be an O.B. G.Y.N. thing. Where else?...There was a big trouble down in, um...what was the worst one of all? (I think when you tried to moon that...) I mooned the audience, in a church in Indianapolis - it caused a squall. I think we should do a gospel tune and dedicate it to Quincy. (That might be a problem.) Since he's a preacher and everything, I think we need to do a token gospel number to try and justify our presence in this lovely sanctuary. I've had trouble playing in churches; I don't like desecrating God's house with pop music, but...he assured me if Jesus shows with the whip and pushes over all the product tables, that he'll be able to explain. You think that's funny; I...I have sleepless nights sometimes about that one, wondering, "What am I dong, you know, selling music in church? You know, Good God, I might as well have pigeons out there, and the whole bit." It's amazing what a man will do for a dollar. Okay, here we go. This song was written in, like, 1952 or '53, something like that. (A man of change.) What's you problem? (You changed.) We're gonna do a gospel number; forget that other number. We will do "Quails" - you wanna do "Quails" first? (No, no, no, I just took my capo off.) He just took his capo off, alright. (Run for the doors.) I miss songs like this; I wish there were more of them in our churches.]
