It was a typical Friday night in our house. Dane was working a late shift, and Pearl and Anna had plans with friends. Lucia and I settled in to watch a movie together, a tradition we've cherished over the years. Lucia is now a junior in high school. We both love staying in, getting cozy in our jammies, preparing a tray of snacks, and watching some type of heartfelt show together. It's simple, but it brings us immense joy.
The following morning, while the house was still asleep, I opened my journal to jot down my thoughts, something I attempt to do every day. My journal is one place where I connect with God and reflect on my life. I found myself thinking about the previous night spent with Lucia, and it dawned on me how different things would be when she goes off to college. The realization hit me anew that morning.
My other daughters thrive outside the home, immersed in activities, and aren't as keen on quiet Friday nights with me. That's okay--it's just not their style. They take after my husband Dane, who enjoys being out and about. Lucia and I just naturally move at the same pace in life and end up buddying up a lot. It's always been like that.
As I wrote in my journal, tears welled up in my eyes. "I'm going to miss her like crazy," I wrote. "I feel the temperature changing." I often express my emotions through poetry, and my inner musician automatically turns my words into melodies. That morning, I sat at the piano and crafted a verse and chorus. Over the next few days, I refined it, pouring my heart into every word. When I shared the song with Lucia, we both ended up in tears.
We sense the impending change. Lucia is graduating from high school and will be leaving our home for the first time. It's a wonderful change in every sense, but it's bittersweet. Like many things in life, grief mingles with joy during transitions. I will deeply miss her presence in our home--the sound of her voice, her lively descriptions of her day, the way she hurriedly walks in the morning preparing for school, the aroma of her weekend baking. I'll miss hugging her daily, cuddling with her at night, and sharing those simple, cherished moments together. Her everyday presence will be greatly missed; just reflecting on it brings tears to my eyes.
I recently heard someone mention "the gospel of positivity" infiltrating Christianity, where people emphasize speaking only positive things. I question how this perspective aligns with Jesus, who experienced deep emotions, wept, and endured the cross, understanding and collecting our tears. For me, fully feeling and processing emotions is vital. There's a lot of sadness in this world, and it's okay to acknowledge and write about it. God welcomes our raw emotions. He draws close to the brokenhearted, inviting us to process everything with Him. He's kind and meets us in every situation, guiding us through life's challenges.
The Band Table
I want to highlight a particular lyric that holds deep meaning for me: "Life's busy then it's quiet again." Different life seasons often catch me off guard when they turn quiet. When I became a stay-at-home mom, life was loud with a crying baby but quiet in profound ways. I had fewer adult interactions, missing the camaraderie of coworkers.
Moving across the country also brought a quiet phase, with fewer friends and social activities. I've struggled during these transitions, always seeking connection and my place in the world. Busyness can sometimes mask deeper issues, making everything seem okay.
But the reality is that many things in this world are not okay, and that's where the gospel begins. It acknowledges the brokenness--the loss of loved ones, untimely deaths, and the sorrow that permeates every joy. The good news addresses the bad news, promising that one day, everything will be made right. There will be no more goodbyes in heaven, which is one of my favorite things about it.
My friend Cliff Preston, a fellow musician from The Band Table, helped me finish this song. Cliff, who lost his father, brought authenticity to the lyrics, articulating the pain of missing someone dearly. We wanted this song to resonate with anyone experiencing loss.
As we journey toward Heaven, where tears and sorrow will vanish, songs like "Miss You Like Crazy" help us process earthly challenges. They remind us that it's okay to pause, feel our emotions, and know that we're not alone in missing someone or something.
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