#340 - "Defenseless" by Lara Landon
The intimacy of being alone with the Lord inspired this song, as NRT's Kevin Davis finds out.

In 2011 Lara Landon submerged herself in writing and recording songs that reflected the past few years and her new life experiences--songs that now comprise her sophomore project, Overcome
"I promised myself, for this project, I would try my best to quiet the voice inside my head that was concerned with what people would think and focus on what I thought God was directing me to do," Landon said. "My desire was that this record, as a whole, would tell a story. I wanted to take people from a place of confronting their humanity and weakness... to being encouraged. Toward the end it's all about victory and empowerment. I want listeners to literally be declaring ‘we will overcome' and ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me' as they sing along in their car." I had the great chance to interview Lara about "Defenseless."
Please tell me the story behind the song "Defenseless."
We wrote "Defenseless" very quickly and spontaneously. I met with two of my close friends just to talk about what was on our hearts. It turned out we all had similar circumstances and feelings. We were doing everything we could to make life work, to have relationships, keep up good appearances, and get our validation from people—basically everything except getting alone with God. It takes a lot of trust and vulnerability to get in the presence of God to find our validation and love. It's much easier to distract ourselves with any number of other "good" things. "Defenseless" is the result of trying to express this as honestly and simply as possible.
Please share any Bible verses you used in writing the song. Any life verse?

Habakkuk 2:3: "For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry."
My life verse is Psalm 3:3: "But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head."
How can listeners apply that message in their walks as Christians when they listen to the song?
An antonym for intimacy could be entitlement. It takes courage to ask for what you want and wait on what you need without flinching when it tarries, and not thinking you deserve that it should come. In hopeful expectation open yourself up to the bitter sweetness of being at a good Lord's mercy. And wait for it. While you wait think of these things: He is love, He alone is good, He is light, He poured out His lifeblood for you on a cross and gave you breath from His own lungs. While you wait, trust He will arrive in the way and time that is right. Trust in His character and from that make your guess as to what is most likely to happen. 
No, you will not be disappointed—that wouldn't be like Him. To truly meet on His terms, humble yourself and wait. Don't try to preserve your feelings, pour them out. Don't try to protect yourself with distractions—TV, food, chores and to dos. The antonym for intimacy is giving up before you give in and not realizing just who it is that you have the chance to trust in. And wait for it.
I need to look confident so I don't feel ashamed
I put a strong face on so they won't see my mistakes
I work to earn their praise as I go about my day
I need them to need me
So I feel I have a place

Here I am defenseless
Abba, Father I have nothing left
Only in my weakness will I find You
Find You
Only in my weakness

I don't want to wait on You
I'm afraid You'll never show
Lord, I know You love me
But I still feel so alone
I'll do anything to turn my thoughts off
To hush this silence
I don't want to be reminded of my loneliness

Here I am defenseless
Abba, Father I have nothing left
Only in my weakness will I find You
Find You
Only in my weakness
Find You
Find You

Here I am defenseless
Abba, Father I have nothing left
Only in my weakness will I find You
Find You
Only in my weakness

I'm laying down
I'm letting go
I'm laying down
I'm letting go
Matthew Henry's commentary: "God has an appointed time for His appointed work, and will be sure to do the work when the time comes; it is not for us to anticipate His appointments, but to wait His time. And it is a great encouragement to wait with patience, that, though the promised favor be deferred long, it will come at last. At the end it shall speak and not lie. We shall not be disappointed of it, for it will come at the time appointed; nor shall we be disappointed in it, for it will fully answer our believing expectations. The promise may seem silent a great while, but at the end it shall speak; and therefore, though it tarry longer than we expected, yet we must continue waiting for it, being assured it will come, and willing to tarry until it does come."
"Defenseless" is a transparent, vulnerable and moving ballad. This song is one of the many highlights of this "gourmet" offering of praise and worship to Jesus. Rarely has an album affected me this deeply, as many of the songs cause me to physically feel the depth and sincerity of Lara's goosebump-inducing, emotional vocals. Lara is clearly in love with Jesus and how these songs convey her relationship with our Lord and Savior in these songs is truly inspiring and convicting. 
These songs are meant to be experienced in order as they take the listener on an emotional journey from a place of confronting our humanity and weakness to being encouraged. The end of the album is all about victory and empowerment where listeners can declare we will "Overcome" and "The Spirit of the Lord" is upon me. This is one of the most emotionally moving albums I've ever heard.
This song brings me to tears as I pray along with Lara "in Spirit and in Truth." If you are looking for words to express the prayerful yearnings of your heart, sing along with Lara's breathtaking lyrics: "Here I am defenseless, Abba Father, I have nothing left, only in my weakness, will I find You, find You... I'm laying down, letting go." Amen.

(You can watch Lara sing this incredibly moving song here.)

NRT Lead Contributor Kevin Davis is a longtime fan of Christian music, an avid music collector and credits the message of Christian music for leading him to Christ. He lives in Pennsylvania with his wife and three daughters.

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